Foreplay is something you never, ever want to skip before sex but what if you’re doing it wrong? Could you be wasting your time when it comes to foreplay?
Your partner can tell a lot by your touch, including exactly how you feel about touching her. Whether you’re nervous, unskilled, aggressive or ignorant, your bad touch will speak louder than any words.
Here are 4 ways you’re messing up the foreplay.
1. The “Nervous Nelly”
This kind of hesitant, unsure touch paired with “Is this good? How does that feel? What about this? Should I do a bit more of this? Or maybe that other thing!” will drive any woman mad, and not with pleasure. What does a nervous touch tell a woman?
That you don’t know what you’re doing and are too busy worrying about what she thinks of you to focus on making her feel good! You’re not between her legs to craft some dissertation on the poetry of her beauty. You’re there to be the best sex toy she’ll ever enjoy. Get over yourself and get to work.
2. The “Man-Handler”
Unfortunately, confidence isn’t enough. If you barge on ahead but are so caught up in enjoying yourself that you forget that the breasts in your hands are attached to a warm body, you are probably manhandling your girl. I can guarantee that’s not enjoyable for anyone.
Man-handling simply tells her that you don’t have the experience to touch her like you know what you’re doing, or the knowledge to notice that you aren’t hitting the right buttons. Don’t let it dissuade you unnecessarily; she already knows that you are a man and didn’t grow up with the same body she already knows. Calm down, take a few deep breaths and try to pay attention to her reactions when you touch her. Tease, tantalize – this is art, not construction.
Discover the answer to the question, “What new way can I touch her that makes her feel even better than I’ve ever made her before?” Do it by asking her to show you with her own hands. If you’ve never watched her body speak before, why would she expect you to already be fluent in her language? Take the time to learn by not being scared about using the wrong word. If you make a mistake, she’ll tell you.
3. The “Rough-And-Tumbler”
Feel like you have something to prove? Maybe you think you’re being aggressive or dominant, strong or sturdy, but getting rough without the clear go-ahead can be scary and can put the person you love in a pretty awkward position.
This kind of attitude tells her that you don’t respect her body or her boundaries. If you tend to “grab-on-tight and don’t-let-go,” it’s time to loosen up and enjoy the If you really want to see how she’s doing, get up close and personal, listen to her heartbeat, the quickness of her breath.
4. “The Hokey Pokey”
Your lover is not a pot roast, you don’t get to “stick a fork in her” to see if she’s done. Poking and prodding, whether trying to elicit a reaction, or determine arousal levels, can only lead to deflated desire. Poking the girls to make them cry stopped being an effective courting technique when you were eight.
Time to give up that juvenile attitude towards your body’s ability to speak the female sex language. A little dance like this sends the clear message that you can’t read her responses and that you are impatient to “get to the point.” If you really want to see how she’s doing, get up close and personal and pay attention to her body language. listen to her heartbeat, the quickness of her breath. Feel the heat of her skin and listen to her voice. If you must ask, just don’t spend more time asking how she’s doing than you do listening to what she’s saying.